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I became a laughing stock because I love him

By: Tarra, 17.09.2010, Comments: 20

God, I don’t even know how to start this story.

I met a man a year and a half ago, at the beginning I wasn’t very much impressed, but with time I started to have feelings for him and he did for me. We were living in the same neighbourhood and met very often, so he started hitting on me, inviting me on dates. At first I refused, but one day I decided to go out with him and our relationship continued. I fell in love with him and gradually found out that he is the man, the one of my dreams. He was very good to me, we went out every day, it was amazing. He even introduced me to his parents, but they didn’t like me, we could only say "Hi" and "Bye" with them. And only after 5 months things turned upside down.

He started being jealous of me; he didn’t allow me to meet my friends, nor his. He kept me away from everything and everyone. But I love him; God knows how much I love him, so I didn’t dare to oppose him. I agreed with everything, sat quiet and kept silent. And he did whatever he wanted.

One day an acquaintance of mine met me and told me everything about him. She told me he had a serious girlfriend for 6 years now and that for the last two years she had studied abroad, that’s why they were not together. She also said his girlfriend comes back to Bulgaria three times a year and they love each other very much. Everyone respected her and he was only having fun with me, until they get together again.

I didn’t believe her, but with time, I found out that it was true. It was very difficult, but I couldn’t make myself ask him about her. I was afraid of losing him, if I start asking too many questions about her. So I kept seeing him, hoping he would leave her because they see each other rarely and time separates couples. We went out a lot, please don’t misunderstand me, he means everything to me and I love him. Even if I had to keep silent about them talking on the phone every day, texting each other, I couldn't stand it but I kept silent while he thought I didn’t suspect she existed and treated me as if nothing had changed. One whole year he kept repeating he loves me and that I mean everything to him. I secretly hoped that he will forget her, after all I am here, and she is away.

Our relationship became deeper and I thought he feels stronger about me and he will gradually forget her. Until one day he simply told me we can’t be together anymore, because he had a girlfriend he loved a lot and he is leaving and going to live with her.

I thought he’s kidding, but no, in a week he left and was nowhere to be found. Can you imagine how I felt; I loved him so much, I simply don’t know how I am going to live without him. He means everything to me. But he made fun of me, and not only he, his parents and friends, too. Now I got it all, he didn’t love me, he just used me for fun, he was never jealous of me, he only pretended to be in order to keep everyone away, because they all liked her and no one could stand me.

Now I understand all his lies, he would tell me he has some work to do in another town and would be gone for two-three weeks. No, he simply was with her, not for work, they went on holiday, the two of them while she was in Bulgaria. So he kept lying to me, the whole time. How could I have been so blind? Now they are together, they live together and even consider getting married.

I went crying to his parents to ask about him but they throw me away and told me to forget him. They told me she is the woman for their son. His friends also rejected me. I was alone, I even lost all my friends because of him. I lost everything.

I know he is not with her for her money, he's got enough, even too much, you could say. He used to pamper himself and spend on useless things. She was simply his big love, the girl of his life. They love each other a lot. Ok, but then what was I, we were together for a year and a half, for Christ’s sake, I gave him everything. When people tried to talk to me I wouldn't believe them. My friends told me to leave him, told me he is lying to me and he is not right for me, but I love him and couldn’t imagine losing him. I kept dating him with the secret hope that one day he will be mine.

I am all alone now; I became a laughing stock for everyone. I love him and I can’t forget him but he doesn’t care, as if I never existed. Dear all, I love him, I can’t forget him, my heart will burst of pain.

I hope you understand my story, maybe it sounds a bit confusing. I can only share it with you, because there is no one else for me to share with.


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