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Lonely: as always...!!!

By: Annu, India, 07.03.2013, Comments: 2

It all just happened recently.....

l m still heart broken and its going to take time,for me to get my self back as I was before all of this happened....ooh! I forgot 2 tell you right now m so messy,twisty & dark also hurt,but besides all this I still have to keep smiling & be happy about what happened. That's the reason I want my old self back who didn't seem to care & was happy with self......

It all started on 2nd of Feb of the year,when I came to college to meet d new friends group of my sister I also went so that I can check my board hall ticket(yes I m giving my board exams)....there I met her gang & later on I myself ended hanging out with them.

There i saw this guy in the group he was wearing a green shirt and a full T-shirt on it ( I have to admit he has a great sense of dressing),glares on hi eyes ,shoes....I'll have to say it wasn't even a look I just had a glimpse on him but it made my day....I was happy like any thing,I spark flew of my heart n there I was have a crush on a boy didn't even knew.....and his name was,well I'll let it b a secret but yes it started with the alphabet 'Z'.I used to think about him with the start of the day till the and of the day....he was always on my mind(I guess he will is.....)

By the way the group consists of students from 11th to TY & of all the three streams comm. sci. and arts well in the beginning I was the only 1 in 12th std as time passed I also introduced 3 of my friends into d group...2 of whom are my best friends and 1 is my child hood friend...I used to talk about him daily with my sister( we are close & share everything with each other) he is a bit flirty and when he used to flirt with me I used to be on cloud nine.....or even a step ahead ...he was the the only reason I went to college despite of my board exams standing on my head....

I always thought of him as my crush, never had any reasons to think of something else,may be I was not just cruising on him,may be I was liking him or may be I was falling for him....I never realized it....& didn't even want to hurry it...so we can conclude that I was a bit mess back then too,all confused about my feelings but only until.....

4th march ( the day I didn't go to college) at around 10:35 my sister started telling me about what happened in college that day(she always used if I didn't go to college) in the middle of telling me every thing she broke d news of him getting in a relationship (and the worst pabrt ) with my best friend....I went into shock I was all teary but didn't let them come out as I didn't want my to know how I felt about it as she only that he was a crush or so I thought to......

and later on I realised that wasnt just crushing on him,I was slowly falling for him.....

Now they are all newly in love and cutest couple in d group...

I m happy for them,really happy with all my heart( well shaterd heart)....

I want to see them happy with each other forever....and wish for it too....but I cant help the situation I m in...seeing them together I become teary n want to hide away somewhere,where no when can find me and I can cry my heart out.....but there no such place not at home,not in college no where....and me being not able to cry is making my situation more pathetic.....

I want to move on but tell me how can you move on from your love if he is all time in front of your eyes,and all of sudden I cant stop going college...as I don't want my friends thinking of what happened to me....and for sure cant give any idea of what's happening with me....God only can remove me out of my misery......:( :'(

see what it had led me to....I m today writing my heart out,hoping it will lessen the burden on my heart....& help me move on....but y did it happen....??? what did I do to deserve this....????No one can imagine what torches I m going through each and every day of my life.....'smiling' when all I want to do is cry......

----

It all just happened recently.....

l m still heart broken and its going to take time,for me to get my self back as I was before all of this happened....ooh! I forgot 2 tell you right now m so messy,twisty & dark also hurt,but besides all this I still have to keep smiling & be happy about what happened. That's the reason I want my old self back who didn't seem to care & was happy with self......

It all started on 2nd of Feb of the year,when I came to college to meet d new friends group of my sister I also went so that I can check my board hall ticket(yes I m giving my board exams)....there I met her gang & later on I myself ended hanging out with them.

There i saw this guy in the group he was wearing a green shirt and a full T-shirt on it ( I have to admit he has a great sense of dressing),glares on hi eyes ,shoes....I'll have to say it wasn't even a look I just had a glimpse on him but it made my day....I was happy like any thing,I spark flew of my heart n there I was have a crush on a boy didn't even knew.....and his name was,well I'll let it b a secret but yes it started with the alphabet 'Z'.I used to think about him with the start of the day till the and of the day....he was always on my mind(I guess he will is.....)

By the way the group consists of students from 11th to TY & of all the three streams comm. sci. and arts well in the beginning I was the only 1 in 12th std as time passed I also introduced 3 of my friends into d group...2 of whom are my best friends and 1 is my child hood friend...I used to talk about him daily with my sister( we are close & share everything with each other) he is a bit flirty and when he used to flirt with me I used to be on cloud nine.....or even a step ahead ...he was the the only reason I went to college despite of my board exams standing on my head....

I always thought of him as my crush, never had any reasons to think of something else,may be I was not just cruising on him,may be I was liking him or may be I was falling for him....I never realized it....& didn't even want to hurry it...so we can conclude that I was a bit mess back then too,all confused about my feelings but only until.....

4th march ( the day I didn't go to college) at around 10:35 my sister started telling me about what happened in college that day(she always used if I didn't go to college) in the middle of telling me every thing she broke d news of him getting in a relationship (and the worst pabrt ) with my best friend....I went into shock I was all teary but didn't let them come out as I didn't want my to know how I felt about it as she only that he was a crush or so I thought to......

and later on I realised that wasnt just crushing on him,I was slowly falling for him.....

Now they are all newly in love and cutest couple in d group...

I m happy for them,really happy with all my heart( well shaterd heart)....

I want to see them happy with each other forever....and wish for it too....but I cant help the situation I m in...seeing them together I become teary n want to hide away somewhere,where no when can find me and I can cry my heart out.....but there no such place not at home,not in college no where....and me being not able to cry is making my situation more pathetic.....

I want to move on but tell me how can you move on from your love if he is all time in front of your eyes,and all of sudden I cant stop going college...as I don't want my friends thinking of what happened to me....and for sure cant give any idea of what's happening with me....God only can remove me out of my misery......:( :'(

see what it had led me to....I m today writing my heart out,hoping it will lessen the burden on my heart....& help me move on....but y did it happen....??? what did I do to deserve this....????No one can imagine what torches I m going through each and every day of my life.....'smiling' when all I want to do is cry.....

and today here I m.....

" Lonely : As Always "


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