A Letter To My One True Love

Hello Nick,

You may or may not remember me, but in Oct/Nov of 2007, I came to your dental office located on Mt. Moriah. The 1st dental visit, I didn't see you, but I saw someone else. When I returned to get the work that I needed done, I was introduced to you. The moment that I saw you, it completely took my breath away. I felt some kind of way, not only were you extremely handsome, but you're an educated, hardworking, nice Man. I was extremely shy, but also extremely attracted to you. You were very nice to me, and also very understanding of my time constraints due to the upcoming wedding if my dear friend. When you did your work you were so gentle with me. I think I fell in love at that moment, but didn't realize it at that time because I was caught up in a VERY sticky situation at home. The second and final time that I saw you....you seemed more calm around me as well (and again, very gentle), but when you were working...you uttered the word "Baby" as you spoke to me, as if I meant something to you.

I'll never forget this account because, I couldn't BELIEVE what I had heard. (Again, it could have just been a slip of the tongue, as many men call women different things), but this was different/it felt so good. We joked around about you being my date to the wedding, but I never came back, so that was just mere flirting. I must admit, that I didn't think so much of you in the years to come, because I was dealing with a lot of mess at home. Throughout the passing years, I would think of you quite frequently (never as much as I do now). Time had gone by, and I would catch myself making statement as, "If I could have a man like N.Cain, I would NEVER mess up, I would do right...because he seems to be the perfect man)! I put that into the atmosphere that day, and from then on, you never completely left my mind. A couple if years later (maybe 2010/2011) my niece came by and was speaking of your previous business partner. I mentioned that I had come to your practice. And immediately fell in love with you. She laughed and joked, and said that she knew of you. OMG, why did she have to say that, because my mind Was immediately BACK on you. She and I joked about you several of times, but I don't think she really ever brought me up in conversation to you. But that leads us to right now.

I said all of that to say..."I've never known a man that could keep me in love for so many years" I mean I don't know you, but my heart is with you. Maybe this is why I can't get into a meaningful relationship (because you hold all of my heart). I think of you so much, I think of you loving me and my children, I think of you being the man that God created for me. When I pray for my husband, I think of you. When I think of HAPPY TIMES, I think of you. When I think of the rest of my life...I think of you!! I have never held on to a dream for so long, it's like I feel as if I "deserve" you for some reason. I would always say that if I could have you/or Man like you..I would be satisfied. I think of you so much, you are in my mind, body and soul...and I don't know what to do to get my heart back (because I never physically gave it to you. But you inhabit my mental in every way). I think of the possibility of being your Mrs, but that is so selfish, because you may not be mine. I don't know if you believe in love at 1st sight, but I do. I loved you when I saw you....and I love you even more today. I wonder if you think about me, I wonder if you COULD love me, the way that I love you. Maybe God won't allow us to cross paths because you aren't mine. Maybe I'm selfishly coveting someone else's blessings, but I can't contain these feelings/thoughts. I want you just as I want my next breath.

I'm sorry that I had to come to you this way, I'm sure that this catches you by surprise, but I had to tell you how I feel about you. I don't know what it is that keeps me so in love with a man that I don't even know (personally), but whatever it is....it's there. I heard that you are going on with your life and dating, maybe I should as well....but I can't at this moment, because there is something/ONE THING within me that believes that WE are meant to be, that our mere meeting was not an accident/coincidence. That one thing is HOPE/Faith that We met because one day...we could possibly be! I'm very patient/hopeful that this could happen. Do you know me....will you know me, as Adam NAMED/CLAIMED/and KNEW Eve? Am I the one and only woman for you? Are you the man for me? Whatever the outcome of all if this is, i hope that you are. But if you aren't, I will trust that God has someone as special as you are, for me! I trust that he will have similar qualities, and will be humble as you are. Will love God, and children, and most of all a man, that desires to be MY ONE and ONLY husband. Nick, if you aren't that man, I'll be ok. But RIGHT NOW....my heart and mind is with you as it has never been. It's so crazy, because we have never formally met! I don't know what the future holds for either of us, but what I do know is that I love You, and I will love you until My dying day! It's crazy that in all of these years. You haven't married yet (or maybe you have and I'm just unaware of it)! Either way.......

I have loved "deeply" before...but I believe that a love with you, will be a complete love, a love deeper than the lowest of depths. When i think of the possibility of inhabiting your love, Everything is clearer, my days are better, and my nights are sweeter! I'm sorry that I couldn't say these things to you in person, but I had to get them to you some way or another!!!. I love you N. Cain....and hope that one day, my love for you will be reciprocated!!

If you're out there, and ever run across this note...Know that my heart has been on FIRE for you from the moment that I saw you! I knew that there would be something special between us (if it were only for that moment, that our eyes met, and you touched my soul in a more intimate way than it had EVER been touched before)!! I believe that we will meet again one day, because I'm putting all of the energies from my heart into this letter, and hopefully it reaches yours!!!!

Love Always

BDR