An stupid irritating crush

the reason i call it an stupid and irritating crush is because when it happened it gave an embarrassing smile on my face in odd situations with no reasonable explanation for it. Even though he didn't initiate any talk to any other girl except me, if a girl tried talking to him my hopeless crush would turn in a pointless jealousy too.

I'll start from when i saw him(I'll call him A here) first. we both were in first year in the college, same branch but separate batches. I was told to do an official work with him. I don't remember exactly but it was hardly a 5 minutes meet and he didn't make a lasting impression, he wasn't a very good looking guy, in fact I'd categorize him among the heavier sides. I forgot about him soon and he didn't revisit my thoughts again untill the results of the first semester were out. He topped the university and since the topper of the branch was from my college and as well as my branch, I wanted to see him and then one of my friends told me that he was in her batch only. So I went to her class and she showed me him. I recognized him immediately but we didn't talk. His image fade away soon.

Then came 3rd semester, we were together in the same batch this time and for some reason(I came to know the reason later) he used to talk to everyone else but me. I didn't have crush on him then but this thing annoyed me, to be precise it hurt my pride and I stopped talking to him as well.

I didn't know that we shared a common interest. The great Sherlock Holmes came to my rescuer this time. We both are big fans of Sherlock Holmes and wished to be like him and we used to ask our friends to give us challenges(puzzles and all) to improve on our science of deduction.

Once he was struggling with a puzzle, I could not hold from involving my self in to it. It was 5th semester now. He was shy as always but was wondering whether I could solve it and i did it, after a struggle of about 20 minutes i solved the puzzle. THAT WAS WHEN WE STARTED TALKING.

As I mentioned earlier he was a very shy guy, adding to it very sophisticated and well mannered too. We started to exchange notes and talk a bit on facebook(mostly we used to give those sherlock challenges to each other). It was the time I started developing crush on him. He wasn't very good looking but his maturity struck the deal.

We had a common friend (let us say X). X was from other branch but I knew him because we were both in the theater club of the college, he was an actor and I was one of the script writers. One night, we were chatting on facebook and he asked me to complete a particular scene of the drama the following day, I told him that I was unable to do so because I borrowed notes from A just today and need to return them tomorrow, so I'd be studying tonight. He sent me a ROFL at this. I asked why? and he said "why are you worried? he'll give you notes for life time if I tell him to"

- "What are you talking about?" I inquired.

- "Did I ever tell you in whose name do we tease A?"

- "No, in whose name?"

- "yours..."

- "are you fucking kidding me?"

- "language lady...language"

- "What language? He'll hate me for this! You know he's one of those conservative kinds, why would you do such a thing?'" I was super scared but inside I felt kind of happy. Then he told me that they were just doing this as a joke, earlier A used to mind it (and that's why not talk to me earlier because even if anyone saw him with me, he'd be teased at hostel) but now he doesn't. X also asked me to keep it a secret that he told me this, otherwise his friends especially A would kill him. they teased him because somehow they knew that I came in his class in 2nd semester just to see him, the topper.

This intensified my crush for him (I don't know why!) but couldn't tell anybody. We talked more but I never ever told anything to anyone. A few weeks later one of our classmates(our another common friend) teased him in front of me, he blushed and walked away. I act surprised but was all happy within. After this even my friends started teasing us.

We went for training together after the completion of 6th semester. There for the first time I went out with him. I can never forget that day. He talked to me about his dream and his childhood memories, his school, his family and a lot of other things. This was a completely different side of the geek, topper and studious A. He asked me about my goal in life. Usually when people ask me this question I tell them whatever first comes to my mind but I felt like telling him the truth. I told him I was one of those typical goal-less youth of India. It was then he helped me to pick a route as well as a destiny.

In 7th semester I took the charge to lead a peaceful protest against a decision of college management. Even though he was a topper and he was indifferent to management's decision, he supported me, not on the satyagrah but in our talks to the management. His maturity to deal with issues left me awestruck and my crush for him grew more.

5 years since I passed out of college. I'm well settled now. My family is looking for a guy to get me married off and I don't mind it honestly. I still talk to him once in a while online. He's achieved his dream and I'm happy for him. Though there remains a little regret for this crush could not develop in a relationship even after such strong bond.

So? What could go wrong? Well we did talk a lot but I never said a word about my crush on him, not to him, not to anyone. If ever I could tell him, if not my crush but that how thankful I was to him for leading me to my destiny. He's the one I am most thankful in my life after my parents for what he knowingly or unknowingly did for me.

Loved you

Love you

and will always keep loving you! :)