I had an abortion and he left me
Nearly a year ago, I had an affair with a boy, or rather with a man, who in the meantime continued his relationship with his girlfriend, although he promised me that there was nothing between them, that the thrill was gone. The well-known male nonsense.
Indeed, I'm not far from fools either because I believed him. We spent great hours together, sex with him was a real pleasure, the flowers, candles, gifts, and tender words were a real unceasing wind.
My eyes were not closed to the truth, to reality - they were just glued. After spending the summer together, I got pregnant. I had to go for tests, examinations, and he started taking a step back from me every day. He didn't come to the hospital with me, he didn't pay for the abortion, he didn't ask to help me recover. My psyche was almost on the verge of collapse. I was taking antidepressants all day, went to psychoanalysts, and my best friend told me, "If that doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger." He dumped me and that finished me off. Everthing that happened to me indeed happens to almost every second girl, but I was only 15 years old, and he was the first one I really loved.
I'm glad I had real friends who helped me get out of depression. And yet, every night I hear my child's heart and the tears do not stop. I want to tell all the girls who have more or less experienced this that I know how great the pain is and how deadly the emptiness inside is. But I realized that life is nothing more than an obstacle that tests our moral and spiritual norms. I learned to fight and never give up.
I learned to hide the pain, tears, sadness, and unhappiness inside me. I learned that I was alone and that if I didn't decide to help myself, no one would do it for me.