I love him …
We met about 5 years ago by chance, through mutual friends. We were never close, we met at parties from time to time, but we did not exchange a word. I even remember that at one time he was madly in love with my best friend. I've seen him with a lot of girls and just thinking how much I didn't care!
3 years ago, we both happened to be at a party of mutual friends. I don't know how it happened, I really don't know, but he suddenly started paying attention to me and so, imperceptibly, we spent the whole night talking and dancing.
Before that night, I didn't even care he existed! After that night, things developed quickly - he insisted us being together, and I was somehow unsure, knowing of his great fame as a womanizer, and I had the pleasure of personally knowing several of his previous conquests. However, he was extremely insistent and I just agreed to be together.
At the very beginning of our relationship, he did his best, and I was rather passive, he literally chased me, and I did not bother to maintain our relationship. This lasted for several months and I, not knowing how gradually began to fall in love with him. I don't know how, but he managed to make me fall in love with him with his wonderful demeanor and attention!
Gradually, he became the most important person in my life, I could not breathe without him, I loved him as I had never loved! Our relationship was strangely normal, in the sense that we were constantly arguing about nonsense, separating, and getting together, but after each scandal and after each separation, we loved each other more and more.
I began to trust him unreservedly, I never trusted anyone like that. God, how much I trusted him. We had so many common dreams.
One fine day, shortly after the second year of our relationship, he came and told me in an even tone that he no longer loved me, that he did not want to be with me and had another! My legs sagged, I didn't know what to do, it drove me crazy! I couldn't believe it was happening to me, the man I loved so much and who I was sure loved me, just left me alone! No explanation, not even a concern.
He was so callous. Hurt me badly! Even more than a year later, writing this, my eyes water. How much I trusted him. I cried for weeks, I couldn't stop, and he was with her!
After about 3-4 weeks he looked for me, started whining, apologizing, looking for me all the time, saying he was sorry! He wanted to forgive him, he said he hadn't stopped loving me, that he didn't know what had happened to him, that he wanted some new experience! I couldn't believe my eyes when he came crying and snoring.
I had dreamed so much about this moment, I longed for him to come back to me, and when that happened, watching him suffer, I felt only pain from how much he had hurt me and how much he did not deserve to be forgiven!
The chase lasted about a week or two. I was playing with him, I wanted him to hurt, but it hurt me too, it hurt me a lot! I decided to go back to him - what a fool! It all started over. Our relationship started fresh with many new promises, everything was beautiful!
Gradually, over time, my love returned, I was ready to do my best again. I had lost faith in him, but I wanted to love him, and even though I was tormented by the fact that I didn't believe in him, I still recovered and did my best to keep our relationship!
The quarrels did not stop, I became jealous of him to the point of pain, I suffered a lot! More than a year passed, my faith in him slowly began to return, but about a week ago, after a little argument, he said he wanted us not to see and hear from each other for a while, for no reason. The feeling was the same as 1 year ago.
God, it's like he ripped my heart out with his bare hands. So, for a week now, I don't know what to do. I have my pride too! Maybe our relationship is already exhausted ?!
I miss him so much, I'm used to him, I want him by my side, I don't know what to do, I just don't know.