I, the Liar
Hello to everyone here!!!
After some frequent visits on this website and after reading some stories, I decided to finally share mine as well. It's about cheating, but on my part.
I am 34 years old, married and have a beautiful girl.
My story began when I had decided to go abroad, because I wanted to make some money and also because I was curious to why everyone wants to travel around the world. So, I left for Italy with my sister and we were relying on a friend of ours to help us find a job there.
We arranged to meet the above-mentioned friend named T. And at first, I didn't pay too much attention when I saw him. Although, his height made him impossible not to notice. So, after a few times meeting him I realized how kind, smiling and easy going he was.
He had some problems with his wife, who he had left in Canada and kept begging to come to Italy. Gradually, we reached a point in which I began to like this man and started wanting him a 100 %.
I wasn't expecting anything besides sex. I was confused, in a foreign country with a foreign language, with some people that I didn't understand and with him; kind, caring and in love with me.
However, he quickly started dreaming about how we were going to create our own life, how I was going to get a divorce, how much he loved me. I wasn't feeling the same way. I wanted to go back to Canada and back to what I had left there; he was also acting weird after living without a woman for so long.
And so, I couldn't handle this anymore, I kept thinking about my child and I left for Canada. Then my pain started. I immediately felt the lack of attention, affection, the spark in my sex life and we began maintaining an endless phone relationship by writing secret text messages in the middle of the night. “My love, amore, sweetheart.”
The distance was making us want each other even more. This is when I made all the mistakes than I did and I told him a bunch of lies. I was telling him how I hated my husband and that I wanted a divorce. It wasn't easy to live like this at all.
I was lying to the both of us. I changed, became frustrated and my husband reacting to this didn't take long. There were constant scandals that were making my child suffer when she heard them. Everything was a complete mess.
T. was pushing me to leave and go to him and I couldn't leave my child and my husband. There was also something else that was more important than everything.
I was not in love with T., even though I used to say it back to him all the time when he told me that he loved me. I didn't want a future with a man that I didn't have strong feelings for. THIS KEPT GOING ON FOR 3 YEARS.
During this period we spent very little time physically together, because this was only possible when he came back to Canada and I could come up with an excuse. I did know that I had to put a stop to this living hell that I had created myself.
Every night, I was full with regrets. I kept thinking how I did't deserve neither one of them. I couldn't find the words to express my desire to break it off with T. So, I left it to him to figure it out.
I didn't get a divorce. I continue living with this huge burden on my shoulders which remained unshared. I made an attempt to meet with T. and to tell him how I felt, but it was another mistake, because he saw it as a willingness to continue our relationship and to try to have a life together one day.
I gave up and I stopped contacting him and so did he. I hope that he has found his true love. Regardless, I still feel awful about it.
I messed up T.'s life with my lies and I ruined my family's balance and trust. Nothing is the same anymore.
So there it is, I shared my lie with you and I hope that someone might understand how I feel, even though I am not a very good writer. I don't know if I'll get a reply from any of you, but at least my story can serve as an example.