Since we were kids

His name is John, tall, brown eyes, brown hair. He's native, so am I. When we were about 12 years old or so.. I got dared to kiss him, so I did. I didn't really think anything of it until the winter of 2010. He was with his pregnant girlfriend, I was with his cousin at the time. We were teengagers: he was 17, I was 16. His cousin (my boyfriend at the time) fell asleep on the other side of my queen mattress, John layed next to me. Me and John began to talk about everything we ever could.. knowing we had that time alone. He held me, he looked into my eyes with his beautiful brown eyes and told me he wanted me. I wanted him so badly. But, I knew it in my heart that it wouldn't work. He had a girlfriend that was pregnant, and I was with his cousin. I told him this, he said he also knew it wasn't the right thing to do. So, we never talked about it ever again.

Although he could never be mine, he continued to act like he was. He would look at me differently, like, iloveyou looks. Then, this spring of 2012, I took him for a honda ride. We parked at the beach, he began to tell me everything. He told me loved me and that he always did, always will. We kissed, well, it turned into more than a kiss. We had an intense makeout. Today, we're both over the ages of 18. We can't be together. He has a girlfriend and a child with her. It's like a tragic love story, from what I think. I can never have him and he can never have me. Instead, we look at eachother and think about what could've been. I'm not asking for advice, I just felt like this was a story I needed to tell.