Lost in love

I didn't know that i was in love until my friends concluded that after their keen observations. They were right. I was in love and so i am till today. My story begun some 3 years ago. My two friends and i used to go for our private studies in another of our friend's home who happened to be my best friend till today. His sister just below him in their family is she whom i fell in love with without my knowledge for we could chat and she would be very happy no matter the situation she was in and so was i. I took time to look into the matter not knowing that the more i put my thoughts on her was the more i fell deep in love with her.

As friends with the issue of opening hearts to one another, i let his brother know it and he was positive about it for i know he understood me more than anyone after being more than friends for two years or so. She had never been in a relationship with anyone else not before not upto now. Though sometimes during all that time that i have been finding myself into relationships, i have never stop to thinking crazily about her.

You may ask, haven't you confessed to her? I have done it time to time but the response has been, 'no i can't satisfy you'.

I am not the kind of a guy who desires a woman for my bed. I told her. She went on to say that i should give her time to think the matter over. How much time? Till she is done with her studies. I got to her when she was on her first year of a 4 year study course.

All i desire to know is if that patience is worth it. Am ready to wait till she is mine but i greatly doubt it though she behaves to hold strong to her decisions.

Her best friend is in a relationship with one of my best friends. The policy she clings to is, 'boys will make you fail in your studies.' since she knew me, she had been adoring my academic achievements. I can't see her her not making and thus i have been helping her where i had been able to do it.in her home no one questions me on my visits for i also have been spending nights there and so has been his brother. Our families have been like one through our friendship and so i respect her on the other side and i can't dare make her suffer.

So by that, i returned her of her photos i had plus those that we took together and the reason was because i didn't want to think about her anymore. And i told her. I stopped calling he or repling to her texts.

But still with every moment i see her , i fall for her. She plays safe but when i don't say hi to her, she comes to say hi to me. She haven't confessed anything yet but signs can't hide from her actions. I am her joy, she always want to spend time with me at their home, she loves my jokes, she loves my attention,she loves my concern but she is never willing to say,' i love you too' which is all i want from her.

So i choose to ignore her for the better or for the ............ WORSE!