First love

hi... I'm very happy today to share to all of you my love story.It's been a long time love story of mine. 10 years, yes 10 years! first crush, first love. my friend, my brother, my best friend, my crush and my LOVE. He is really nice, gentleman and handsome guy. He is the best friend of my brother. and i got his attention and we are close together. he knows that i have a crush on him. Because all of my classmates knows it. i am very grateful to be with him as a friend. but times and years come a long. my feelings for him been stronger. He had a girlfriend at that time, but because i know my limitation being his friend i respect his feelings. Being in love with him i decide to be a good friend. a friend always there for him.

he broke up with his girlfriend and nothing change between us. we text morning to night. until one day he text me "WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?" but i reply to him. NO! i don't know why i said NO to him that day. but all i know is i don't want to rush everything to us.

Years again for both of us to have no communication. and one day he told me that all of his family are going to japan to be with there father. I am very sad about what he said to me. but he said that we can send email and call to each other.

year 2009... I am the most happiest girl in this world. why? because he called me and he said that he is already here in Philippines and he can't wait to see me. He also said in our conversation that he had important to say to me and he want to be with me.

I pray a lot to see him and be with him again. I ask my friend about us and they said i should meet him.

I travel about hours just to be with him. I have a question in my mind What is the important thing that he really need to say to me, just to come over here.

finally the moment I've been waiting for. I am with him and he smile at me, we both happy. and when the time that we got chance to talk.

He said that he also in love with me... he doesn't know when it's started but he got that feelings and then he wants to see me just to say that to me. I cried because i can't expect that he can also like me. kissed me that night. my first love holding me right now and then kiss me. oh my God! i can't describe to all you how happy i am.

and suddenly stop and talk again to me and said.

we could not be together and be my girlfriend.

my eyes can't imagine he would said that to me after he kiss me and told me he loves me too...

3 reason why we cant be lover.
1. Because of my brother
2. Because of my parents
3. He live in Japan

My heart so glad that i know that he can also love me. but what is the reason why he told me and we can't be...

after he go back to japan. i realize that it doesn't matter at all. as long as i know that my first love also love me. even i can't call him my boyfriend but i know if we are meant for each other the right times comes.

2012 yes! this year... he said me message in my Facebook he said that he going here this October and he also said that he is looking forward to see me again. I ask him what his plan why he decide to come back here. He said again that he wants to see me.

he wants to see me again. i don't know what is the meaning of that. and i don't expect that he would said anything about me. but i am very excited to see him and talk to him personally like before.

my heart beats faster and i can't sleep because of that. September end now and soon he is here with me.

I wrote this because i want to end all of this because it's been years and i realize that i can be happy and i can't g back to my high school feelings that i am in love with him and now he is back again and what for?

I'm not hoping...but i am happy to be his friend since then. He hurts me so many times and i forget it all.

Glad that i have a wonderful feelings that i can share to all of you. once that you finally saw the man for you and you know that he deserve and worth for your love.. don't doubt and take risk.