I love him even more
Hello, readers of this wonderful net-magazine. I will share my story here, hoping to get some valuable advice from you, because I have no one else to tell it to.
I am a 23 year old student and until 3-4 months ago I had a serious relationship with a 28 year old boy. Everything was very good until his bad habits started to prevail. He began to attach more importance to his friends and alcohol than to me. He came home quite late at night, mostly drunk, at least 4 days a week (we lived together for 2 years ).
I always wondered how he could do his job after sleeping so little and drinking a lot of alcohol, but he obviously did. At first I went out with him and shared his fun, but the moment came when I realized that I could not continue like this.
We started arguing on this topic, and not only that. The other "problem" was his mother, who also lived with us and our relationship was not very good. I must mention that for him his mother was a very important part of making any decisions and it often happened - my word against hers. And although our differences grew, I loved him (and still do).
The moment came when I packed my bags and moved out. I have a boyfriend at the moment, I did my best to love him, but it doesn't work out. My thoughts and feelings belong to my ex. It's just that nothing is the same with this person, and somehow internally I want it to be.
I realize that perhaps the wisest decision is to drop everything in the past and end it. And I, despite all the horrible things I've been through with him, remember the good ones, and I can't tear myself away. I hardly eat or sleep, I have no concentration on anything.
We've been seeing each other again for about two weeks, supposedly just for sex, but I think maybe there's more. The good memories from before are revived and become an even better present.
I still love him, moreover - as if I'm in love for the first time. I think (or at least I hope so) that it is the same with him. And in the sleepless nights, I ask myself the question: Is this true love? And if so, should I hope that this person will change something in himself in a positive direction?
I have already accepted him as he is, I will be happy if he changes, but I will not try. I love him too much.