My messed up life

it all started when i was 12, i had friends that are alder than me, very older.. and they were dating and i was very curious into knowing what dating felt like, so i had my first boyfriend who was 6 years older than i was, i know, it was not clever but i loved him.. this guy would play me like a ball, i would see him with other women but i ddnt care as i believed it was love... so i kept holding strong, till he started beating me becsuse he believed i was misbehaving, i still stood by him, even after de puches and the kicking, he impregnanted my friend and claimed it was a mistake and i believed him and still held on, i mean thats how much i realy loved the guy..he was my everything... till one day there was a public function and evryone who was evryone was there and he decided to beat me up in public as he was so drunk and it was that moment that i decided im done with him, thou i loved him...i completed my school and went to varsity, now i started dating different men coz i was hurt that it didnt workout with the love of my life, so i would date not for long and dump them, these ppl loved me but i ddnt care and juniour was one of them, he cried for me when i broke up with him, i felt pity but i had just cum out of a relationship with the love of my life so i ddnt care much,juniour realy wanted it to work coz he introduced me to his family but i was just not ready for that so i dumped him... then i met this guy (let me call hm henry). henry was very patient with me even with all my crap of giving him a tough time,he was still patient and i started liking him alot and when i finaly fell for him, his ex started with me, threatening me, calling me with his phone and all that crap, but i still held on as im one who likes competitions alot, i had a graduation party and both henry and juniour were there, henry ewas mr.party but sumhow i wished juniour was..so after the party henry leftbek to his plce as he had to work de following day, i kissed juniour and we talked and i fell for him hard this time but there was nothing i could do as i was with henry. than one morning henry's ex calls me at 3am with his phone, i was very pissed but i ddnt ask him abt it, i decided to hangout with this guy who was crazy about me and henry got to hear about it, apparently they told him im sliping with the guy, so he broke up with me...it hurt me alot but i am a strong person i pulled up and then i went bek to juniour and still with him, im in contact with his family and i like it but the problem is i feel as if juniour is pulling bek, i think he has fear that i might dump him again, but i wont im inlove with him now more than ever... but he kips blowing me off and ja its all my fault, i messed up my life coz now henry wants me bek, do i go bek or do i stay with juniour...i have realy grown fond off him