Does my husband love me?
Hello girls. This question has long been ingrained in my mind - does he love me, or...?
I will tell you in more detail.
We have been married for eight years, but I have recently begun to think about many things, namely, to give them meaning and connect the facts.
We got married very quickly - he said that he had been in love with me for years, and I hardly noticed him, (he is a few years younger than me) I felt that he was not the man I had dreamed of, but I thought that I might not find a better man in our small town.
He always said he loved me, he still does, but his deeds say otherwise. First, as soon as we got married, he separated me from all my favorite activities, from most of my friends. We always and everywhere had to go together, and he didn't like some of my interests - like poetry, tourism, etc. Out of jealousy or some kind of complex (he has a high school education and I have a university degree, although for me this has never been essential). But gradually I became isolated, I have the feeling that during these eight years I have lived in a cell and constant depression.
A year or two later, he began showing his uncontrollable anger, which always ended in breaking something (he never hit me). When he gets angry, he starts talking horrible cynicism, regardless of where and in front of whom - he put me in terrible situations. Then he regrets, apologizes, as if nothing had happened - and so on until next time.
He is incredibly selfish. With our last money, just before salary, he can go get a haircut, because that's when he decided. When he decides to buy something - for example a jacket, he will do it, but if in a few days he sees better, he will buy the second one, although I also need a new coat.
When there is something tastier or more delicious, he attacks it first, without considering me or our child. He can consume it whole. His salary is not big, he gives me almost all of it, I distribute the money, but then I always have to have it when he asks me. Regularly empties (even breaks) the child's piggy bank. Then he always finds some excuse.
He doesn't care about almost anything at home. Everything falls on me, and I work, until recently in two or three places. If something breaks, it stays that way for months or years, despite my constant reminders. He very rarely catches up with something.
He usually stands in front of the TV or computer.
When we prepare for guests and there are many things to be done, and I tell him more hurriedly to do something, he is suddenly affected by my tone and disappears from home, leaving me alone to deal with everything.
For two or three years now we have had sex about once a month. It may be quite rare, but I don't seem to have the desire either. I don't think there is another woman, at least I haven't noticed any signals.
There are many more things, but I think that's enough. Is it possible that this person loves me? Or it's all learned phrases and posture - it's just comfortable for him to live like that. And he repeats it constantly and parades it in front of everyone - how much we are in love, how much we love each other. On the side, we probably look like the perfect family.
I must be to blame too, maybe my biggest one is that I got married without loving him. I tried, honestly, but he had killed my every feeling so many times with his rudeness.
On the other hand, he is sometimes very kind and gentle, but unfortunately, these moments are rare, and I no longer enjoy his caresses.
I know that my problem is not who knows what, but I was relieved to share it. Thanks for your time. I will be glad to hear your opinion, friends.