This is the end

The author's name is obscured • True stories Separation Add a comment

He's leaving ... I love him so much, we love each other so much. HE is everything, all my energy, HE gives me life. I can't imagine life without him, and now he's leaving. So many memories, events, and everything will end with his departure and nothing will be the same. How can I forget him, it hurts ... How can I forget such a large part of my past, in which he was ?!

Nothing will be the same anymore. Every flaw, every minus in his character, in his demeanor, becomes a quality, a plus because I love him. What will I do when he leaves? I will be left alone, completely alone. It will be so hard to forget him, to stop thinking about him. How do I stop? Everything reminds me of him. It hurts, it hurts so much ... I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be alone again. He’s leaving ...

Yes, I know he will return. But nothing will be the same anymore. The distance does not support the feelings, unfortunately.

How could I be so attached? Wasn't it a mistake that we got together at all? I just want to be with him. Do I want so much?! It hurts. God, it hurts so much. Tear, after tear. I look at my hands. Now I can hug him every day, be together, love each other, and in less than a month I will not be able to touch him, he will not be next to me, my hands will be empty and it will hurt even more. We have so little time left. How can I not think about the end as it is so close?

I don't want to part. I have already experienced a separation, I know what it is, I will experience this one, but I also know how much time and effort it requires, and tears, and how much it hurts.

Memories ... I constantly remember different moments, I cry, and he calms me down. I'm crying now, and what will happen when he leaves? He will not be here to calm me, he will not be by my side, he will not kiss and hug me. I will be alone, completely alone.

I will not know how he is at any moment. I want nothing more than to be with him and no one else but him. What will I do, how will I smile, who will I go out with? This is the end, and it was so nice. We have to separate, and it was like yesterday when it all started. Once again I hear "I love you" and it torments me even more. I want to scream, to tell him that I love him, I adore him, but these are words without a future.

I encouraged him and I continue to encourage him to leave, this is his life, it is for his good, and he himself wants to leave. Why? Why does it hurt so much? Why does it have to be so mean? Why does everything have to end like this? I don't want to love him, my heart hurts. How do I give up such love, how do I give up on him?