Will it ever be again?
She found me Facebook through friends several years ago. I was dating someone at that time and she commented on how good I looked. That made my last gf jealous. So I deleted the girl.
Couple years later I re added her and our conversation just took off from there. Constantly talking and connecting. Our new relationship was FULL of life! Our personalities and humor were just 100% together. Making love to her never felt so good with anyone else. She just wanted to spend all her time with me and cuddle. Stroke my hair and be there for me. We were a very attractive couple.
A year after dating I let her move in with my landlord and I. Her life at home with her parents was not very good. I basically rescued her because I loved her dear. At the time so did she.
A year passes living together and things just kept declining quicker and quicker. She found someone else attractive at our work and kept denying it. Few months later she quit her job and I asked her to move out. Her hyigene was awful. Not responsible at all. I still tried so hard to be there for her. Basically rescue her and guide her into a more healthy life.
Two days after she moved out and we broke up. She already wanted to get sexual with someone she use to like before me. For a whole year when she moved in things just kept getting worse and worse. I kept being patient and putting up with her crap.
To this day I still love her and have no idea what will happen. I don't know why I still love her anymore. We separated and she still sometimes act like she cares and says she sleeps with my shirt everynight. Maybe she holds on to me because she knows we will never be together and hasn't let go but know we aren't meant to be.
My love for her blinds me every day. I am trying to learn how to make my anxiety not consume me. I just really really wish there was a possiblity we could be together.
She's 19 and I am 24.