He is the man of my life
Lots of lies and that was the end of it all.
I wanted to be with him, unconditionally, without depending on anyone. He appeared unintentionally in my life, through my father - he introduced us as they would work together.
Everything is very confusing. I feel that way myself. Well, my father introduced me to this man at a disco and introduced him as his future boss. I didn't even know then what would happen and how everything would go. I don't know where he found my phone number, I don't want to ask, but it so happened that we went out, dinner, a restaurant, I fell in love and that's how a relationship started.
For this person, money means nothing - he just has it. I told him a thousand times that I didn't care about his money and he knew it. He was the man who had everything a woman wanted: I saw in him a friend, a boyfriend, a man with whom I felt safe and I was not afraid of anything. I know I've always been looking for this. I wanted everything from him and I think it was mutual. We were like that for a long time and everything was perfect. There was something strong and beautiful between us.
We went out with my girlfriends, with his friends, but at one point, he decided to break up, on the pretext that he suddenly became aware that he had slept with his friend's daughter - that is, my father, as they began to work together.
It wasn't easy for me either. To go home and look my father in the eye, knowing the truth. So, we broke up, but we remained friends, we kept going out. At a disco, I introduced him to my girlfriend and suddenly, the next day, I found out that they were together. I was very upset, but I'm a person who doesn't show it.
I pretended that nothing had happened and moved on, with the idea that everything might end and I would no longer depend on my feelings, as it always had, and that this with him was just a moment of weakness and nothing more, but that didn’t happen.
The longer he was with her, the more I fell in love. We talked about marriage, about family, if I wanted children from him, then I loved him very much, and he was crazy about it.
We talked about how everything will be, that is, how I want it. I know I'll have everything I want with him, but here's what happened.
The thing with my girlfriend was just to check what I represented. When someone loves someone else and decides to put him to a test, in which I failed. I had decided that it was all over, and one fine evening I was staying in the apartment, just before I went out to a disco (I'm a student, and I decided to call him to hear how he was, but he didn't pick up). After 10 minutes, a hidden number called me. I picked up and it was him. In principle, we talk for 1 hour on the phone. This time it might have been more than an hour and a half, I told him everything, but it was too late.
I told him how much I love him and how I can't live without him, how I can't imagine life without him. He knows very well that I don't care about his money, his feelings are even greater than mine, but I just haven't overcome my fear of a serious relationship and I wasn't ready for it yet. I thought he just didn't want to be with me, but it was all just to test how much I love him.
I asked him exactly what he wanted me to do. Finally, my mother and father found out everything, and that put an end to the slightest opportunity to be together again. That's how it all ended.
I haven't heard from him in over a week and I'm going crazy. I am 20 years old and I think I will never meet a man like him again, from whom I want everything and want to be with him forever.
I'm not such a person, in general, I like everything to happen at the moment, but he changed my ideas about a relationship and a man, about relationships, about love, about friendship, about trust.
He's all I want and I don't know what to do. I'm sick, I feel guilty about everything, I don't know how to act, what to do.
I just wanted to share with someone who doesn't know me, who doesn't know anything about me. I just live among people who are so hypocritical and wayward, and I treat them the same way.
It's all a matter of nerves, and I want something different for me. There was a lie in every relationship I had. I have the feeling that there are no sincere people and I am afraid that I will become one too.
What can I do to be better and to get him back, I don't know ?!