You were with me all the time for so long. You were always there – my best friend… I couldn’t find out whether you were more than a friend. I unroll the reel of my memories.
Is it me – this child over there…up in the mountains where dreams rise up to Heaven? I loved to wake up with the sound of birds; to take a deep breath of the cold air and to see the blue eyes on the bed next to me… bluer than the sky. There is so much laughter, so many dreams gathered… up in the attic. You were the one who knew what I felt, without even talking to you. I have always questioned myself how you do this. Where did you get strength never to get upset? You were the “moving spirit” of the company; you were everything… an angel who had descended from the sky to bless us with his warmth and goodness. But why for so short? WHY?
I remember the nights by the fire when we were lying on the grass and my life was significant. I was wondering why the stars sparkle in the dark and you told me it was not to forget them.
And you were the one who compensated for my fooleries. But you never blamed me for this. I could tell you everything and I knew you’ll understand.
It was the end of the summer. The end of the season was near and we had to set apart. You were leaving; like you did each year and I had to let you go. The last night we were sitting on the porch; you looked at me and I got lost somewhere in your deep blue eyes. I was speechless and you gave me the first kiss. Then, you gave me the biggest present in my small world. All became quiet when you left. The forest started crying and I wandered why.
One morning I woke up from the pouring rain that was pattering on the ceiling; my heart began to bleed. I didn’t know why. I ran downstairs and I saw them. I saw their faces and I felt their awkward emptiness.
God had taken you from me… forever. This damn car-accident - somewhere far away in Spain, where the other world of yours was. I didn’t want to believe that someone could be that cruel and kill an angel… the soul of a child. There are no words to describe this pain, this emptiness, and these insults after the accident, and these fake looks of compassion… for you! Thousands of smiles were broken into thousands of pieces. Life was ahead of me and that didn’t matter to me. When part of me was gone; when memories brought only the pain of the loss.
Oh, how much I miss you even after five years. I’ll never let me forget you because you live in my heart – in that tiny heart of a child who loved you endlessly.
I wish more people knew you. Now I have other friends, I’ve changed, I’ve maybe grown up. There are people who love me and I keep looking for a small part of you in them – a small part of your laughter.