The Pathetic Love...

We started along on a rough path, she hatted me. I haven't the slightest clue what I did to make her stop. We started dating, we were happy. We began fighting every now and then, but I still loved her. She began acting different, losing interest in the concept of us, I didnt know why. Whenever I confronted her about it, it'd turn into an argument, so I left it alone. She started drifting, further and further into open waters, out of my reach. My suspicions became a reality when I found out she was cheating. I was so angry with her, I didn't know what I did wrong and she never said. I still respected her decision, even though I felt half-dead. He started treating her like she didn't matter, as if she didn't mean a thing. This made me angry, I beat some sense into him. They broke up, she came running back to me, we were secretly already together, she cheated on him. She told me the one thing she wanted was to be with me again, I knew she was wrong to do what she did. She knew it to, hence I took her back, not realizing the real impact. We were happy together, once again, with each fight brought us closer, she was mine again. I was the happiest man, or so it seemed, until she told me she was unhappy with me. She told me everything she wanted me to be, I changed for her, to make her happy.

Soon after changing, souly with her, she told me she was unhappy once more. She said she wanted me to be myself again, she denied anything of what she said she wanted me to be. Things led on, left and right, we're now not on speaking terms, yet I love her with all my might. How? You may ask. Well what you dont know, I was with her through everything, holding her hand. She wasn't a very good girlfriend, always throwing other men in my face, but I know I'm not the victim here, or so I think. I was so nice to her, was the shoulder for her tears, I was there for her at night, and I'm still here. I miss her so much, more than one can bear, more than one can imagine, I hope she knows I'm still here. The hatred I have for her is more passionate than known, I hate her so much, but I can't wrap my head around as to why. Maybe I hate myself for falling for her. Or for thinking we could always be together. Or is it because I miss her so much, but love her even more, and hate her with a hatred, worth killing a boar? This I'll never know, but I do know one thing, I still love her, and really hope she loves me. All I can do is hope and pray, and as much as I don't want there to be an us again, the thought is always still there. Sitting in the back of my mind, stronger than ever, stronger than 30 tractors, crushing a crude soul. I still love her, more than she knows, yet I dont want her to see this, or to ever know. Shes treated me worse than dirt, some say she doesnt deserve me, yet it doesnt show here, but I still love her to death. And I just hope that she knows that I'm still here if she needs me...