The secret desire to cheat
Hello, here is my story.
I am 25 years old and I have had a serious relationship for 6 years. We are even seriously considering marriage, but recently, I don't know why I am constantly thinking about another man. I recently started chatting with a man on the internet, he is a foreigner. He asked me to chat and at first, I didn't mind because I wanted to practice my language (we write in Spanish, I almost forgot it because I don't have time to read books to keep up) and so I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to speak this language.
So I started sharing things with this man that I didn't talk to my boyfriend about. This has been going on for four months now. Since I had a lot of problems at work, he was the person who calmed me down and gave me strength.
My boyfriend was worried too, but not as much as he was. It went on like this night after night. He had told me that he only wrote to me and there were no other girls. Of course, and I don't know why, I asked a few of my friends to contact him for a chat, but he didn't answer any of them, which of course is no guarantee, but I just wanted to make sure he wasn't lying to me.
And not long after (of course, we sent photos of each other and I was fascinated by his appearance, he also liked me very much), he started saying that he loves me, that he likes me very much and that he would be happy to live with me. He mentioned many times that he even wanted to see me at a hotel, but I explained to him that I was not ready for such a thing and that I didn’t want to lie to my boyfriend, which he knew about.
He even started inviting me to go to him, he says he would take care of me. Everything is very nice, but who knows if it's real, how can I know if he isn’t lying to me about his age, for example (he says he's 30), or something else, even though he's very honest.
So, now this is the person who gives me strength in life, I even accept the problems with my current boyfriend much easier, because I know that there is someone else who also loves me. I know it's stupid, but my heart desires the other.
Sometimes I feel like an absolute fool that I even hope for something so unreal. I even dream of him coming to me. I think about him all the time and less and less about my boyfriend, when in fact he is in reality, not the other. Maybe I see in this man what I don't see in my boyfriend.
He's a mature man, though I can't be sure, can I? He says so. I don't know what to do, I don't know if I want advice. If something like this has happened to someone, share how you overcame it. Because I think I'm very detached from reality and I have no real idea what kind of fraud this could be.