I wish you won't blame me

by Gabby True stories Intimacy 1 comment

My love,
Sinful, secret, insatiable. You came and shattered my life as a spring storm, you hurled away my peaceful days and nights. You keep a tight rein on me and lead me in an unknown direction.
Where will I find myself? Who can give me the answer? The curtain of the future is closed and I can’t see the end of this love – sudden, temporary, forbidden. I love you! I love you to distraction with that sinful love of a married woman, torn apart between the allowed and the forbidden, the workday and the expectation. I have a family, a child – you are single.
Sad and terrifying, isn’t it?
I can’t do anything to change your life the way you dream about it.
Don’t blame me.
God, please help me.
Why did I let my heart be captured in that bottomless net from which there’s no escape?
But could I’ve commanded it?
Months had to pass until I realized that what I felt wasn’t just an infatuation, an innocent flirt but something real and deep.
I restrained myself not to pass over the barrier for a long time. I tried to be the master of my actions. But alas…
I found out that true love is not ruled by reason. Emotions command every human thought and action. And when reason fights emotions life turns into hell, and each day becomes endless suffering…
May be time will heal me, may be my heart will find rest.
But right now I don’t need a remedy, I don’t need a rest!
I love these stolen moments that make me happy.
There are memories which remain for a lifetime. They always return to our thoughts and hearts and time is powerless to erase them.
It wasn’t me but life that made the choice for me. And you know that, don’t you? Don’t blame me. I’m not leaving…
My memories and my love will always be as you will always be with me… for life….
I love you!