Is it love?
It was a beautiful and fresh morning when I saw again the man who had been stealing my peaceful childhood sleep for a long time. I knew I shouldn't like him because he could be my father, but every time I saw his silhouette, my heart would pound and I would tremble with excitement.
I couldn't help but feel his interest in me, even though I thought I was imagining it. I tried not to think about him, and the more I tried, the more he kept coming out of my head.
The years passed, and this man kept stealing from my sleep, from my gaze, from my dreams, until one day he spoke to me and I felt weak. I couldn't resist the urge to be with him.
I gave him our first kiss and with it all my love that I kept for him. He responded to me even more, I was loved, and I loved for the first time with all my heart and soul.
I felt happy, I wanted to know that he was happy with me too. Every rose, every kiss, every fabulous night caressed my heart. I believed that this would never change and that this was the man I wanted to be with forever.
For the first time, I truly loved and knew it was my love, but in his life, work was slowly and surely becoming more important, until one day I realized that the nights with me were tiring him. He increasingly preferred to be without me.
I understood him and did not disturb him, but he began to behave rudely. More and more often I was alone because he was annoyed by everything in me, and I decided to remove the irritant for him.
I started dating a man my age and tried to forget him, to be happy with my new boyfriend, but I couldn't.
My lover never left my mind. He started trying to get me back. He was waiting for me, begging me to come back to him, promising me that he would not leave me anymore and treat me badly.
I did not hesitate to return to him, this was the man I had longed for. The second beginning was similar to the first, but with each passing month, I felt that nothing was the same.
In time, he started behaving badly with me again, he always insulted me, it always turned out that my thoughts were not at his level, I irritated him even more than before.
One night we had a fiercer fight and he hit me. For the first time, I felt that this man's attempts to kill my endless love for him had been successful.
The weeks went by - one we met, one we didn't. I decided to pay attention to other men and move on without him.
I tried not to think about him and looked for the man who would accept me as I was. I haven't found him yet, but there is another man in my life. And so I settled with another hopeless love. I am not happy with either one or the other.
My lover is painfully jealous of me, he is angry with me, and I suffer from his every insulting word. And I keep wondering why I couldn't stop loving him.
The other man gives me everything I don't get from the first one, but I have no future with him either. I want to be with only one man and love only one from now on.
I do not know what to do. Thanks to everyone who read my story!
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