You don't know that you have until it's gone.

There was this girl that I met in middle school. She was the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on, she still is. But I didn't pay any mind to her because I thought she'd never even have a conversation with me and plus everytime I saw her she would always be with her boyfriend. Then, the first day of 8th grade I walked into Spanish class and there she was sitting at a table with one empty seat left in the class so I had no choice but to sit in front of her. She greeted me with the sweetest smile. As the school year went on the more we talked and got to know each other and the more I felt infatuated by her. We became really close, bestfriends at that. Humor, beauty, intelligence she had it all. Most days I couldn't even believe that someone so perfect could even exist nontheless be talking to me. I was never the outgoing type but when I met her she helped me open up and find some sort of personality. She always brought out the best in me, she motivated and supported me in everything I did. She'd always tell me about her relationship problems and how much she was unhappy.

In the back of my mind I knew I had feelings for her but I alwaysed brushed them off because she was in a relationship with a friend of mine and I knew she would never have feelings for me. After middle school we went our seperate ways and attended different high schools. We kept in touch during summer and most of freshman year. Then we slowly faded when we met new people. When I saw her with her new friends and how happy she was without me I got jealous and unintentionally tried to make her jealous with the friends I made. It worked for a short period of time but then she eventually stopped caring. I pushed her away without even noticing it. I was slowly losing my bestfriend and it was my fault because I never tried hard enough to keep in contact with her. That summer after freshman year was the worst. I always felt like something missing. One day, I came across a picture of her and realized....it was her.

I was missing her. From then on all I could think of was her and all the memories we had together. I became so bitter and frustrated by every little thing. Everytime I came across a picture of us or hear our song on the radio my heart would feel like it dropped and broke into a million pieces. I came to the conclusion that I didn't just miss her but I was in love with her. I wanted to be with her. Why else would my heart hurt like this? By the time I realized this it was too late she had already moved on to better people. I knew I made the biggest mistake of my life when I let her slip through my fingers. If it wasn't for my stupidity and selfishness she would still be in my life. It's been 3 years and I still feel the same way about her, she's the person I compare everyone to. There is no one that will ever compare to her or replace her. I would do anything to get her back into my life. Some may think that I'm too young to be in love but I don't care I know what I feel and no one can change it.

To her,

I miss you so much. I hope you havent forgotten about me completely. Know that no one will ever replace you. You were the first person I've ever felt this way for. My heart will forever be yours. Maybe one day I'll tell you the way I feel. I just hope you're happy. I love you.